Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.Įntered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.Ī clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
#Spring cleaning jokes password#
So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.Ī computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. I saw it through my telescope last night. I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I named my hard drive “dat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to ‘back dat ass up’. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas? It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”
#Spring cleaning jokes full#
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.Īn SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. So far, the Universe is winning.Ĭomputers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
#Spring cleaning jokes software#
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows? There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL. Where’s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.Ī computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.Ī bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion). What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch! My mother has a picture of me when I was two. This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!” The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum. What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down! Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze! How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans! Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.īeing struck by lightning is really a shocking experience! Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny! What animals are on legal documents? Seals! What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.Ī man drowned in a bowl of muesli. Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken! No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery. What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll! How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you. The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools. What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court! Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon! Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
0 kommentar(er)
